Finally a chance to write

So at work today I found about 15 minutes to try and get some writing done, work has been insane, but I made the phone calls pretty quick today, so there was time to write. Yay! 

It was a strange night, the air was thick, it was a little hard to breathe. Jeremy and I had been rained out of the concert in the park, some rock band. We had wanted to see the sax player that was to open for them, an oddity in and of itself. "They should be opening for him," Jeremy said. Unfortunately we had gotten there to late, so when the rain started getting heavy we packed it up. 

So there we were walking from the pink line around 10:30 at night, the moon was shining bright in the sky, the cats, who pretty much owned our street were meowing loudly and hissing at anything that moved, specifically us. Then seemingly out of nowhere a large lightning bolt crossed the sky, and hit something. We saw the fire in the sky before a small white flash filled the sky for a split second.

"What the hell was that?" I asked, still searching the sky for some sign of activity.

"Look over there!" Jeremy was pointing at a large streak of smoke in the sky, which was terrifying enough, surely something bad had happened, but what was more disturbing was the unnatural orange and green glow the smoke had. 

Whatever had been hit by the lightning was now crashing, and this smoke was spewing forth, almost immediately we could hear the sirens of police cars and the whirling blades of helicopters. We weren't the only ones who saw the explosion. 

By this time our neighbors were coming out of their houses, having heard the explosion, and they started asking questions, not that we had any answers for them. A helicopter appeared from behind a row of houses and filled the street with light and noise, "Please return to your houses, this is an emergency situation, the safest place is inside your homes" 

"Terroristas!" Yelled mrs. Jimenez, as her son ushered her back into their house, everyone else followed suit, their thirst for information sated, replaced by fear. 

"Do you think this is an attack?" I asked Jeremy.  He replied in his signature snark, "yeah, because our little neighborhood has such strategic value in the greater scheme of things, it

"Well then what was it?"

"Let's find out"

"Move along home gentlemen" a voice boomed from down the road. A tall man in a white suit stood there watching us. "It's not safe out, if I were you I'd find my way home." 

We both knew he wasn't a regular street cop, they were never that formal while threatening us. We started towards our apartment building, when another white light flashed in the air, we turned to see what was happening, and we're met with another booming shout from the man in white, "INSIDE NOW!" We knew better than to look back, or Jeremy did, I should have, but I turned around to see a white light that almost blinded me, I could make out the man in white glaring at me, right before a large tentacle reached down from the light and pulled him into the light. 

Werk writing: day 2 a short play about a proctocologist

So here is a short play about those unsung heroes, the people who have the lucky job of taking stuff out of butts. Enjoy 

Daryl: a proctocologist

Marvin: Local putting things up his butt enthusiast

Ms Lumont:Daryl's receptionist

The office of Proctologist Daryl Anna. Mid day, the reception room. Ms Lumont organizes papers, pours coffee, eats a cake, then reapplies her lipstick, she plays with her hair, then tries to slut up her cleavage for the good doctor. As he enters she puts down her hair and tries ( unsuccessfully ) to be seductive while sitting on a table.

Ms. Lumont: good morning doctor

Daryl: yes hello ms Lumont, are these the patients for today?

Ms Lumont: yes Doctor (she flips her hair and it just gets more in her face, now she's just sitting there trying to blow it out of her face) 

Daryl: is everything ok ms Lumont?

Ms Lumont: (losing all attempts at being sexy) yeah, things are great...

Daryl: right, well it's time to start the day, bring on the butts ms Lumont!

Ms Lumont: yes doctor.

(She exits and Marvin enters, he is a very normal looking guy, the good doctor shrugs melodramatically)

Daryl: oh no, not you again-

Marvin: hey Doc, so you are NOT gonna believe what happened-

Daryl: you're right Marvin, I'm not gonna believe what happened. I never believe what you say happens, there's honestly very few instances where something gets stuck up an ass on accident, and I can only believe someone so many times when they tell me it's an accident. 

Marvin: well I'm sure I'm still in that range of people you believe right?

Daryl: I'd say after the first three times I start to suspect something's up...

Marvin: how many times have I been here?

Daryl: Ms Lumont, what is the count up to?

Ms Lumont: (in and out real quick) 212 times sir

Daryl: 212 times Marvin.

Marvin: 212? Really? Is it that many times? That can't be right.

Daryl: is that right Ms Lumont?

Ms Lumont: including today it's actually 213 sir, excuse me

Daryl: there we go, so let's just pretend you already told the story, and I told you I believe you, which I don't, and never have, let's make that clear, and you can just pull down your pants, and I'll pull whatever is in your ass out of your ass-

Marvin: it's my keys...

Daryl: your keys Marvin?

Marvin: my keys... I haven't gone inside my house in a week...

Daryl:that explains the smell... Marvin, I'm not doing this today, you need to go take a shower and come back

Marvin: I can't leave, I need my keys, how else am I going to get in my house?

Daryl: break in like any normal sane person

Marvin: but my burglar alarm! I need a key to deactivate it.

Daryl: oh that can't be right-

Ms Lumont: actually sir, my parents have a very similar alarm

Daryl: ms Lumont you are not helping!

Ms Lumont: sorry sir...

Daryl: ok Marvin: pull down those pants, and you owe me for this-

Marvin: oh thank you doc! Anything you want!

Daryl: please, please please! Do not stick anything up your ass for at least a month-

Marvin: two weeks-

Daryl: a month-

Marvin: three weeks-

Daryl: a month-

Marvin: one week...

Daryl: just stop putting things up your butt! There are actual people with actual health problems that need me.

Ms Lumont: doctor, we have have that woman from that cam website on the phone, her rectum is distended... Again.

Daryl: god I hate my life...

Here we go again... Story a day 1

Alright, here we go again, I find myself having not posted in over a year... Probably, but let's try it. I have a new job that sometimes I have a lot of down time, so let's fill that downtime with writing! I have an iPad now (cause I'm so hip!) and am going to try and write a short story everyday I have free time. Now they won't be amazing and magical (or they might, don't judge!) but let's try it, I'm gonna post on Facebook for topics, characters, events, a... Color? Who knows, and we'll see what I can come up with. Today's story comes from an event that actually happened at work today, plus some made up stuff to actually make it a story, this is what would be chapter one of a much larger mystery if I was actually writing it out, which I might, not sure yet. Let me know what you think. 

It was a day not unlike any other day for Chuck Grimm, he sat at a desk waiting for packages to come in so he could sort them, an existence that was possibly the most dull life he ever lived. What would come in next, UPS, FED EX, USPS the possibilities were literally three. Then down the hall he heard a man's deep voice "Fuck! Shit!" The voice came from a resident of the building Chuck worked at, a high rise condo building, 54 floors, in downtown Chicago, the kind where the people were rich and mean, and the nice ones were few and far between. 

A resident in a sweaty tank top, he had probably just been working out, he looked like one of those people who work out a lot, Chuck rolled his eyes, Chuck was not one for working out... Much to his own chagrin. The resident, who Chuck was pretty sure was named...Mark? Came over frantically. "Please I lost my dog, I have a vision problem, I lost my dog on the elevator. I came off and I thought the dog was right behind me, shit, my wife is going to kill me. And these ass holes just got on and took the elevator, like you'd think they would see the dog and say something, shit!" 

Chuck reached for the phone and called the front desk, "Hey I have a resident down here who lost his dog on the elevator-"

"I'm Gene, Gene in 2301! And I didn't lose my dog! Someone took her when I was on the elevator"

The doorman on the other side of the receiver wasn't much help to the situation, "we'll there's nothing we can do, if it's on the elevator, it's on the elevator"

"Ding!" The elevator returned down to their level, and when the doors opened up, there was Gene's dog.  Chuck thought, "well, glad that's over..." When a high pitched scream came from the increasingly sweaty Gene. 

"Oh god, Muffy!" 

Chuck looked over and Muffy the, usually radiant, white Eskimo was now covered in blood. "Oh shit! Is she ok?" Chuck hurriedly asked. "He's a He!" Gene shrieked back. "Not that it matters much now" Chuck said under his breath, hoping Gene didn't hear. 

Chuck looked the dog over, and for being covered in blood it looked rather happy, it was licking it's owners tears up trying to cheer him up.

"Sir? I think Muffy is ok, he doesn't seem to be hurt, I don't think that's his blood"

Gene shrieked back "Well who's blood is it!?" 

"That is a great question..." Chuck barely had time to think before a call came out over the radio. 

"Barry to front desk, I need medical assistance on the 45th floor, please send medical assistance to the 45th floor." 

Slumber Space pt 3

Part three friends! I hope you like it. I've been thinking more and more about this story and this world, and hopefully I can polish it up some more. But here is part three!

Gold held his maroon badge up to the beast. “Nightmare you are in direct violation of the Articles of Dreams: Code 3: Section 2.1: Attempt to use a dreamer's power to give yourself physical shape. Just turn yourself in and there won't be any trouble.”

“You're asking it to turn itself in!?” Justin shouted from down the street. The Nightmare shot a baby out of it's stomach at Gold, he waved his blue energy stick, which Justin later learned is called a Dream Stylus, and created a force field around him, the exploding baby bounced off and landed in the street melting away and leaving only darkness. It had no plans to come quietly.

“Has that ever worked?” Justin asked.

“Once” Gold replied, and started his offensive against the Nightmare. He waved his Dream Stylus around in the air and a giant blue energy circle appeared over the Nightmare.

“What is that?” Justin yelled.

“A Nightmare Regulator, it will force it to take it's original shape.” The circle enclosed on the Nightmare and it's skin started to melt away, and shape it had seemed to disappear and everything it was evaporated into a mist, the regulator circle was now surrounding a small purple cloud. Gold waved his hand again and a second ring appeared surrounding the cloud, the two circles rotating against each other trapping it.

“You are under arrest anything you attempt to transform into or assimilate with will be held against you in a court of dreams.”

“That's my nightmare?”

“No, this is A Nightmare, two completely different things, a nightmare as you know it describes a bad dream, those are caused by the dreamer. A Nightmare, with a capital N, is a Slumber Space criminal that breaks one of the many Codes of the Articles of Dreams. This guy was using your dream potential to make himself stronger. We see this sort of thing a lot with Dreamers from Generic Springs. Now, we need to get back to Slumber Space Main City. So you have to wake up. Thank you for all of your assistance and maybe someday we'll see each other again.”

“Wait, you're leaving just like that?”

“Well not exactly, you still have to wake up to send us back to Main City”

“Do I get to see you ever again?”

“Not unless there is more criminal activity in your dreams, and even then I might not be assigned to you. But truth be told your dreams are pretty vivid, I will miss it a bit.”

“Did I make all this up? Can you tell me that? Nightmare Detectives and capital N Nightmares? Where is all this coming from?”

“What? No, you didn't make all of this up, you know there's so much more than your small government controlled town, there are whole worlds, and universes that exist out there, and if your tiny human brain even saw a quarter of it, it would explode from the sheer brilliance of it all!”

“ok jeeze...”

“You want to see it? It's brilliant.”

“You just said-”

“I was just kidding, you're head won't explode... probably.”

“Probably!?”

“Most likely it won't, but you never know, sometimes in Slumber Space people's heads just explode, for the fun of it, hopefully your head is not one of those.”

“Well that is reassuring.”

“Right, well come with me then.” Gold waved his hand and a wooden door appeared with the word “Exit” written over it, he snapped his fingers and it opened, inside was just dark emptiness.

“Where does that go? I thought you said I needed to wake up for you to get back to the city?”

“Right, well that was the quickest way, but now you want to come with so we have to take a Backdoor.” Gold saw the look on Justin's face, “Backdoors are how we get in and out of people's dreams, they are all connected to the Dream Collective, think of it as a giant web that connects all the dreams and at the center lies Main City.”

“Sure... So, is it safe?”

“Sure... probably... maybe? I've never taken a dreamer back to Main City before, but I'm sure I've seen them there. You see in Slumber Space all the dreams of people happen in certain zones, Inner, outer, and Individual. We are in an Individual Zone, you made this place out of your memories, you are a very powerful creator. But some people cannot make their own environments for dreams, in the Inner Zone we have things like Main City, a city where people can be anything a normal human would want to be in a city. Have you ever had a dream where you weren't in a building you recognized, but knew that it was your house? That's the Inner Zone. And in Outer Zone we have large landscapes, plains, mountains, jungles etc.”

“Right, sure... that all strangely makes some amount of sense. So why would you need to go to Main City then? You're not a dreamer, or are you?”

“No, I'm not a Dreamer, I'm a Figment, a being made up by someone who then gained it's own life. I started as someone's dream, or a part of their dream, but now I'm my own person, and I arrest Nightmares. So...?”

“So?”

“So, would you like to join me in Main City?”

Justin was still very unsure of everything, This could just be a dream... Well, it IS a dream but what kind of dream is it? He didn't have time to give his answer, because while he was thinking the Nightmare had broken through one of the circles, with a loud screech it smashed into Justin and sent him flying through the door, he looked up and saw Gold and the door disappear into the darkness.

Slumber Space Pt 2

Hello friends! See I'm back again, I'm semi serious this time! I have been watching a lot of Doctor Who, when I say a lot, I mean A LOT. Like not too long ago I'd never seen an episode, and (maybe) a month or two later and I've watched all of the revival seasons. But anyway, I think watching that helped me create the idea for this story and this world. Of course I was inspired by all sorts of other things, and had my own ideas, but there is a character who definitely feels Doctor-ish. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I don't want him to be a cheap imitation, but there he is. I hope you like this next part, I'm trying not to make it as epic as my last story so that I will actually finish this one. My goal right now is to introduce the world of the story, and get you interested and wrapped up in five parts. And if people like it, then maybe I can write more short serials about Justin Harper Slumber Space Detective. (Also I'm not entirely sold on the name Justin, thinking of changing it, but we'll see.) here is part two!

It was a Sunday in the little town of West Generic Springs, and Justin Harper, not yet in coma, was bored out of his mind. “I hate sundays” He was on break from work. “Why did I have to come in today? Stupid pregnant Brenda didn't even have her stupid baby with it's stupid baby face... I hate pregnant Brenda.” So smug he thought, as he sat at a table outside the restaurant he worked at, whose name is rather generic as well. He finished his food and sat in his chair thinking about how miserable he was, and how he wished he was somewhere else. Then he started picturing it, he wanted to be at the beach, near the ocean, it's waves crashing over each other, the sun, not too hot, hanging out overhead somewhere in the sky. He could hear the sea gulls fighting over some food they found. And then he saw him, the man from his dreams. About 6”4' broad shoulders, possibly Latino, black hair, with a neatly trimmed, yet thick, beard, with a strange goatee colored gold. He wore sunglasses, an orange Hawaii shirt, with red shorts and some sandals, and wore what appeared to be a large wrist watch with a blue glowing face. No matter when or where in his dreams he saw the man he was always wearing that large watch. Who was he? Did Justin meet him somewhere and just couldn't remember? “Hey! Get out of the road!” the Man shouted at Justin. “What? Did you just-” before he could finish his thought the Man ran up to him and pushed him out of the street as an eighteen wheeler drove past. Justin was up in a flash looking around “What the hell just happened?” how did he end up in the street? Did the guy from his day dream just save his life? Is that even possible? “I think I need to take the rest of the day off... yup, pretty sure this is a sign.”

Back home Justin took off his work clothes and threw on some shorts and a shirt. “What is going on with you today? Hey you know what would be great? Getting yourself killed while day dreaming.” He had a habit of talking to himself. “But I don't even remember moving, I was on the beach...” He started to see it all again, the sand, the sunset, the beach goers, all waving at him, calling out to him, he accepted a drink from a very attractive surfer, then threw a ball for someone's dog, soaking up the atmosphere, the relaxation, the breeze.

“Stop! Don't move!” It was a familiar voice. Justin turned around, and there he was, the Bearded Guy.

“I said to stop moving, that includes turning around! It's dangerous. And really? Red and Orange? At the beach? Come on, if your going to dream about me at least be honest about what you want to see me in.”

“I uh... sorry what?” Justin tripped over his words. His dream was... uh talking to him? Berating would be a better word. Right, berating him, over the choice of clothes?

“If I remember your dream about that guy you met at the store, you like dark colors, even on men of color. What about this?” The Bearded Man tapped on his blue lit watch and was now in a pair of dark blue and black board shorts and sunglasses, “I'm keeping the sunglasses though, they look good on me, ya?” “uh- yeah, yeah of course” Justin fumbled, staring at the attractive shirtless bear of a man now standing in front of him, no longer berating him. “I knew you'd like me like this, natural. Been a while since I've been able to look like this.” The man winked. “I uh... wait, what is going on here?”

“Well, you're dreaming, that's obvious right?”

“Yes, I was at home, trying to remember what happened today. I was at the beach, just like right now, and then you were there, or, here. And you pushed me, and I really fell-”

“Because I really pushed you.”

“But, you're a dream, this is a dream, I am in a dream and I am controlling it, see?” Justin snapped his fingers and put the Man back into the clothes from before, but then changed his mind and took his shirt off with another snap.

“Knew you'd like it” The Man gloated.

“oh shut up.” Justin did enjoy it, but he was too focused on how much sense everything did not make. “How could you push me in the real world? You don't exist in the real world.”

“No I don't but, being in your dream gave me the power to.”

“How?”

“I don't really have time to go into it, just know that your dreams are very powerful, and that is why you are in so much danger right now, so listen to me and stop moving!” Justin hadn't even noticed it, he was moving again. He was walking backwards, he stopped himself, then his legs started moving again, and he stopped himself.

“Concentrate, stop moving, think only of stopping and nothing else, forget the beach, forget sunset, and the waves, and my current state of undress.” Justin looked up, “I said forget about it! Concentrate!”

He did, he forgot bout the beach, the sun, the waves, the hot shirtless man in front of him, he just focused on his legs. Stop moving, why are you moving? He stopped moving, and no sooner had he stopped he looked up and saw that he was on the roof of his apartment building. “Holy shit!” he yelled out, freezing in his shorts and shirt. “How the hell did I get up here?” Well you didn't fly dumbass.”Shut up.” He was now arguing with himself. Oh joy.

He rushed back inside, ran down five stories and back into his apartment. What was that? He had way too many questions, and not a single answer. Well he did have one answer “Everything has to do with my dreams, so I just won't dream, I won't sleep, I won't day dream, I will only exist in the here and now...” He then realized there wasn't really much in the here and now and that's why he took to day dreaming in the first place. He heard something in the kitchen and remembered his sister Judith's stupid cat that he was watching while she visited her boyfriend in france, Or whatever... stupid European traveler... I could travel in Europe if I wanted to... Suddenly he found himself thinking about it. “Stop! Nope!” he had to remind himself. Something was going on in his dreams. Or, you're just crazy that is a complete possibility. In fact, that's the only thing that makes sense... Being crazy makes sense... god I really am having a day... Your dreams are just dreams, nothing more, maybe you're still day dreaming, maybe you fell asleep and they are waiting for you at work to finish your lunch shift. I'm sure stupid Brenda is complaining because her contractions are two minutes apart. Well just have the damn baby already, also BRENDA how have your contractions been two minutes apart for eight weeks and you haven't given birth? I call bullshit. Oh shit. He was clearly at work, but in a dream, he knew it was a dream because sitting there at one of the tables was the guy from the beach, dressed in a black suit, and blue tie.

“Really? Already back? Stop, whatever you are doing stop.” He got up and walked over to Justin.

“I don't know what I'm doing!” he replied. “I was in my apartment, and then I started thinking how bat shit crazy this all was, and then I thought about work- and just who the hell are you by the way?”

“I'm Gold, Slumber Space Detective Level Maroon. Here's my badge” The man flashes him a maroon colored index card with nothing written on it.

“What?” Justin had a million questions, but the lights flickered, there was a low boom, and the room shook slightly. “What was that?” Justin asked.

“Justin, what was the last thing you were thinking about?”

“How do you know my name?”

“Just answer me!” The room shook again, this time harder and there was a louder boom, a few of the lights just fell directly off the ceiling.

“I was in my apartment thinking of work and-” One of the walls crumbled as the large figure of Pregnant Brenda slammed through, roaring and smashing anything in her way. She was five times her normal size, her stomach was huge and full of what Justin assumed to be babies trying to force their way out, she was some kind of monster now.

“What the hell is that Justin!?” Gold shouted.

“Stupid Pregnant Brenda?” Gold grabbed his hand, “Run!” They ran out on to the street and Pregnant Brenda followed them, she seemed to squeeze a baby out of her large belly button, shooting it like a canon ball at Justin and Gold. It exploded on impact taking everything it touched out, leaving empty black space, as if that part of the dream had been erased.

“What is going on!?” Justin demanded.

“It's a Nightmare, it's using you to give it strength and power. It created that monster from your thoughts about Stupid Pregnant Brenda. Now just stand back, this is my job. After I arrest it I'll explain everything.” Gold put his hand over his watch face, and the blue light seemed to form a stick in his hand, a blue stick of energy, with light trailing out from the tip.

“Arrest?” Justin blurted out, but it was too late, Gold had run off after the Nightmare Pregnant Brenda, leaving Justin to stand there and wonder what the hell was going on.

Oh My God I Am That Stereotypical Black Father Who Left For Cigarettes And Never Came Back

I'm home... hello? Son? Daughter? Husband? No? They're all dead from drug overdoses and lives of crime because I was an absent father? Well fine! I'll just get a new family! or something.. anyway, drawn out metaphor over.

Hi guys! I know I'm terrible at doing this, but I was just looking over my blog for writing samples for something, and I was like "Well dammit, I need to stop BSing and just start writing stuff." Hopefully I will keep it up this time. I am going to try!(?) Now here's the thing, here is where I get upset at work when kids do this. (For those of you not in the know I work at an after school program) but I have not said explicitly that I WILL be doing this, I said I am going to TRY. when I say this, the kids think I mean "I promise, I swear to the great sky god jesus harold christ that we will be playing handball today! And if we don't may I be stricken with diseases upon diseases so say I!" No, it means I have the best intentions of doing this, but sometimes it doesn't happen, and I'm really super sorry if it doesn't work out, sort of... (That last part is for the kids, I actually am really super sorry with you guys). So here is when it starts, I am going to try and write, maybe not a story or a script, but something, at the very least weekly, I've got to be able to do that at least. I can do it, and more, I just get distracted. But no longer! I will write dammit, my future depends on it (in a sense) I want to be a writer, so I must write I must build a mountain of things I have written and so shal it be that I will have... a mountain of stuff I have written which is pretty cool to say the least. Here is the beginning of a new story for you to tide you over.

Slumber Space.

He sat in the waiting room, the smell of cigarettes and old wall paper glue filled the air. It's almost real, it feels real, it seems real, he thought. But it wasn't real, this waiting room didn't exist, at least not in the sense that you or I exist, it was a room in-

“Justin Harper?” A voice rang out from behind the counter. Justin walked over and handed the strange purple woman sitting behind the counter his sheet of paper, to him it looked blank, but she just sat there looking it over, as if she could see what was written on the paper that he could not. The longer it took the more nervous he got, as if he was being judged, he was, he just didn't know that. “Right, well we don't usually take your kind here, but in your circumstance you don't really have a lot of options, and you were a great help to Gold.” there was a long silence before either spoke, a woman sneezed and a welsh corgie blessed her. Justin spoke first, “So...?” “So welcome aboard, here's your badge, and your gun.” She handed him a blue piece of paper that was blank. Is nothing written in this place? He stared intently at it and saw words appear, fading into view, and a picture, his picture, it said “Slumber Space Nightmare Detective Level Blue: Justin Harper” He picked up his gun, which looked like a piece of wood. “It'll change once you get some more experience.” The Purple Woman said when she noticed Justin's wary look. “Right...” She pointed him to the hallway and said that his office was all the way down on the right.

Justin walked down the hall passing all sorts of sights that (what, twelve hours ago?) would have seemed impossible. Dogs drinking coffee while interviewing Lizard women. Worm Secretaries, rooms marked “Smoke Clouds Anonymous” and what appeared to be an Angel handcuffed to a heater while a demon interrogated her about the whereabouts of Angel Island. Then he reached his office, it was closed, the door said “Slumber Space Nightmare Detective Level Aubergine: Sally Slender: No Relation” he tried opening the door, but it was locked. “Excuse me? Miss? The door's locked.” Justin called down the hall. The Purple Woman yelled back “Talk to it.” Talk to it?

“Uh hello?” Justin said, unsure if that was right.

“What do you want?” The door seemed to say. “Oh jesus h christ you're her replacement aren't you? Sally Slender, she's gone ain't she? God dammit, I knew it, I knew I shouldn'ta let her go after that god damned Crimson Nightmare! I said Wallace, this one feels different, this is the one, you're gonna lose your freakin Aubergine status and they're gonna send in some Blue bastard. And there she went out the door, and here you are, with your god damned Blue card. Jesus christ, I might as well be a doggie door for the dog down the hall, HE is at least at Orange!” The door started shouting, “Hey! Candice!” Apparently the Purple Woman's name was Candice, the door continued. “I want to put in for a transfer! I'm not starting all the way back at god damned blue for chrissakes! What kinda shit is that?”

Candice yelled back, “Look Bill, you're a door, this kinda thing happens all the time, do you know how much effort it takes to get you guys out of the frames? It ain't happenin, we don't have the budget for something like that. Now be nice to Justin, he's Human and doesn't know how half the shit here works.”

“Oh no, you ain't stickin me with some Human! Of all the lousy things to do to a door Candice! Candice, why you gotta do this to me? Candice baby! Hey, don't pretend like you can't hear me! Candice!” He went on for a bit, until Justin decided he'd had enough.

“Hey! Open up!”

“Oh, we got a tough guy ova here! Well come on, you wanna get inside? Turn the handle!”

Justin wasn't sure why, but he felt uncertain about following the doors advice. Oh god, I'm arguing with a door. He slowly started to reach to the knob.

“I wouldn't do that if I were you.” Justin stopped and turned, it was him. Gold, “Bill can be a real asshole. On her first day he did the same thing to Sally, passed out from an electrical shock.”

“It wasn't even that big of a shock!” Bill whined.

“Open up ya big brute.”

“Hey! I just got a wide frame!”

“Be nice to Justin, or you'll have to answer to me, understood?”

“Oh, and what are you gonna do?”

“I'll draw on you. With permanent marker.”

“You wouldn't dare!”

“Wouldn't I?”

Gold and Bill were in a stare down, which was difficult for Justin to pick up on seeing as how the door had no eyes. “Fine, fine, come in, jeez, look at this guy, play a little joke and he starts threatenin to mark a guy up!” Bill opened and Justin finally got to see his new office. It had a desk and a chair, and a little lamp, even had his name on a little blue sphere that looked like a hologram.

“Feel free to decorate it when you have the chance, it can look however you want. Just use your imagination.” Gold informed him.

“Right, my imagination. That's what got me here in the first place...”

“Hey, it won't be so bad, I'll be here to help you get used to the place. Trust me in a few days you won't even realize you're in a coma!” The reassuring smile on Gold's handsome face disappeared at the realization of the stupid thing he said, “I- uh... Dammit, wasn't gonna bring that up.”

What a long day Justin had had. The last thing he wanted to think about was how he got here, but there it was the ever looming fact. Justin Harper was now stuck in the world of the dreamers that it's inhabitants called Slumber Space, he was now a Nightmare Detective, a person who hunts Nightmares, and he had no idea when the fuck he was going back to the real world. How the fuck did I get here? He had to replay it all in his head just to make sure he wasn't dreaming it all up, well he WAS in fact dreaming, he just wasn't the one in charge of it all.

"Blood Stain" And being back!

Hey Bloglandia! sorry I haven't posted in forever! It's just been a really long time since I've written anything not related to Fix My Problem. (Which I hope you are all checking out! Facebook.com/FixMyProblem or youtube.com/User/FixMyProblem) But I've written something new! and Dark! I don't know why but I was thinking of this Poe story I read as a kid (Why the fuck they had us read this in elementary school I'll never know, I think it was summer school, so maybe they just didn't care enough) it was called The Cask of Amontillado. it was about this man who led his, well essentially his frenemy (Please never let me use that word again...) down to a wine cellar with the promise of this very fine wine. He has been insulted, and clearly the only way to remedy that is to chain his dear frenemy to the inside of a wall and then fill in the wall... Classic elementary school story if I ever heard one, we also read The Pit and The Pendulum, yeah because nothing says third grade like the Spanish Inquisition. ANYWAY- all this Poe got me thinking about some darker tales to tell, and I've been doing a lot of comedy recently, and I always love a good dark tale, even some of my comedy has dark twists at the end of them. So I wrote this piece, my dear friend Bailey asked me to write something for her, after I had told her that I wanted to get some more Non-FMP writing in, and so i started with the idea of a woman in a room. But then it became a man in this room, who is confronted by this strange woman. Well anyway I hope you enjoy it, it is definitely different. I am currently just titling it "Blood Stain" for now. I thought about adding more and maybe I'll talk about the idea I had for the rest of it, but as of now it is a stand alone scene. Let me know what you think and what you think of Fix My Problem too!!!

A dark room, a jail cell, there is a window, with three bars, the only source of light an orange street light outside. There is a door stage right, it opens and the room floods with white light, a cop brings in a man, Burton, he is dressed in a white shirt and tie, and is covered in blood, not his own. The cop throws him to the ground, and knocks him around a little, for resisting.

Cop: Now keep quiet, someone will be with you shortly.

Burton does not respond. He is in a daze, the cop exits. After a beat he rolls over, finds the wall and props himself up.

Burton: Shit...

The door opens and light floods the room, a tall woman in business attire enters authoritatively

Woman: You really did it this time didn't you Burton?

Burton: I didn't do anything...

Woman: No, you just murdered that woman and her father in front of a crowd of people.

Burton: Oh...that...

Woman: Yes, that. Is that her blood?

Burton: I... Don't know, I don't really remember much of anything these days.

Woman: Of course not, well from what you told the arresting officer it sounds like you don't remember anything past 2 PM this afternoon.

Burton: It's been a long day.

Woman: Well, let me refresh your memory, around 11:30 PM you were seen talking to a young woman, you asked her for a dollar-

Burton: A dollar?

Woman: All you wanted was a dollar.

Burton: One measly dollar... and she said?

Woman: No, she said no, to your most simple of requests.

Burton: So I asked again-

Woman: And again, and again.

Burton: She was scared-

Woman: She was terrified. She'd lived a sheltered life, she wasn't used to city scum like you, harassing people for money, even one little dollar.

Burton: (the fog in his mind begins to clear) And then her father came...

Woman: He was a big man-

Together: But so am I/ are you

Burton: What did I do?

Woman: You don't remember?

Burton: I don't remember

Woman: You came to blows-

Burton: a fight?

Woman: If you can call it that- you had that bottle.

Burton: The drink.

Woman: You smashed it across his head-

Burton: Did he die?

Woman: Not right away, but you made sure he did. You took the shattered bottle and stabbed him repeatedly while he layed there, in a pool of his own blood, with pieces of his brain scattering across the pavement, all while she watched.

Burton: The daughter, the daughter who wouldn't grant a simple request... for-

Together: A dollar.

Woman: One measly dollar.

Burton: For a burger-

Woman: Cause you were hungry. And you'd spent all your money on the drink.

Burton: She wouldn't pay

Woman: So her father did. But then you saw her and remembered-

Burton: The knife-

Woman: The knife you bought to protect yourself from those damn punks who mugged you-

Burton: Fucking kids, somebody's fucking kids mugged me.

Woman: So you bought the knife.

Burton: For protection-

Woman: But now she'd seen you.

Burton: She was crying...

Both: I was crying

Woman: I knew what I had to do...

Both: I had to kill her.

Blood starts to appear from under the Woman's shirt, it begins to trail down her skirt

Woman: You had to kill me, I'd seen what you'd done.

Burton: What I'd done to your father... I killed him

Woman: You murdered him, and then you pulled out your knife- This knife (She pulls out a knife) and stabbed me, killed me, taken everything about me away. I became a blood stain on your shirt, nothing more nothing less, you took my life and made it a blood stain on your shirt. Do you remember what you did?

Burton: No!

Woman: Do you remember?

Both: No!

Woman: What you did to me?

Both: No!

Woman: (Putting the knife in his hands) Remember this. (She forces him to stab her with every sentence) Remember this. Remember me. You made this choice. I am a blood stain on your shirt. On your life.

Burton: (He drops the knife and falls to the floor) I remember, oh god I remember, I remember everything, you begged for your father, you pleaded with me, you cried at it all. I wanted to forget, I wanted to drink myself into nothingness, I wanted to end it all, slowly, painfully, the way I deserved, not with a bang but with a whimper...

Woman: And then I came along...

Burton: And then you came along... and then your father... and the bottle... and the knife...

Both: And the blood stain...

Burton: It all came so fast.

Woman: And now they're coming for you, what will you tell them?

The door opens and light floods the room, a detective's voice is heard, Burton just sits in the light unsure of anything.

Detective: Alright Burton, you ready to talk?

Burton & Woman: I don't remember.

BLACK OUT